Funerals are really just Family Reunions

I am not a big fan of funerals.  Let me rephrase, I am not a big fan of viewings.  I have never been comfortable with the idea.  I have told my husband repeatedly, my funeral -- no viewing!  The deceased never look like themselves, and they aren't there anyway.  Take my Gma Lu's funeral, for example.  My grandmother always had a beautiful olive complexion, yet the funeral home put peach colored make up on her.  I took one look and said, that is NOT my grandmother.  I have other ways of honoring the dead than by "viewing" them.

Anyway, I digress.

I am a fan of funerals, for the fact that I get to see so many family members.  It is like a reunion sometimes and I love that!  I am grateful for any opportunity that gets my spread-out family all in one place.  Such was the case with my Gma Willie's funeral back on 17 December 2012.  (Yeah, I know it has been five months, but I have been busy with everything except family history.  Sigh.)

The morning of the funeral, my Aunt Lindi had us all meet at Sandy's Country Junction, as that was Gma Willie's favorite restaurant.  My youngest brother, Jeremy, asked what Gma's favorite was, and so he ordered a BLT sandwich in her honor.  Cool!

We went out the the Sanger Cemetery for the funeral.  It was one of those days that is threatening rain, but the sun shines while you need it to.  It was a lovely day!

I gave the Eulogy for my Gma:

Eulogy for Wilburta “Willie” June Love Linenbach - 17 December 2012

Wilburta June Love was born on 20 September 1922 in Glendale, California to Wilbur Ticknor and Florence Faye Alkire Love.  She was the second of two girls born to the Love family.

Wilburta was named after her father.  “I’m proud my parents wanted to name me after my dad, but I wish his name hadn’t been Wilbur.  Nobody could spell it and half the people couldn’t say it correctly.  I think my family started ‘Willie’ for my sake.  My father, bless his heart.  It never was a secret that he wanted a son.  He never, ever made me feel like I should have been a boy, except once.  I wasn’t too old but he told my mom one day that he’d take me for a haircut.  He did ask me if I would try a ‘boy’s bob’.  I know I did not want one but I said yes to please him and then I think I cried for 24 hours.  My mom felt sorry for me.”

In 1930, the Love family moved from Glendale to Reseda.  Willie said “ I was broken hearted, but it turned into memories that I'll never forget."  Willie loved animals and they raised dogs and chickens and other animals.

As a child Willie had a lot of fun, playing with friends and her many cousins who lived near by.  She loved school.  “I [sometimes] had to sit in a special chair in the hall for talking too much.  Parents used to visit school once in a while. Just drop by.  One time I was in ‘the hall chair’ and my mom dropped by.  She couldn’t believe it.  I think she almost laughed.  I’ll never forget it.”     

Willie attended Herbert Hoover High School in Glendale, California.  She did well in school and was the Honorary Major of the ROTC Drill team, and the Captain of the Rifle Team.  She was an excellent shot and won many competitions.  She graduated from high school in 1940.

Willie intended to go into the field of nursing, but when World War II started everyone’s plans changed.  She always felt badly about not following that dream.  Willie credited the development of her intense patriotism to her dad.

After high school, Wilburta joined the Glendale Women’s Ambulance Corps, where she served as a First Lieutenant.

While in high school Wilburta was friends with a man named Donald Caman.  They were married in 1942.  Donald went to France during the war and Willie was pregnant with their son, Donald Caman, Jr.  Donald returned to the United States and told Willie he had met someone in France and wanted a divorce.  Willie moved back to California to live with her parents, and there she met Richard Marshall.  They were married in 1947 and Richard adopted Don.  Richard had a son, Darryl, from his previous marriage.

The family moved to Fresno, where Lindi was born.  Willie took up golf and found it to be a sport that she loved very much.  In 1961 she was the Women's Champion at the Belmont Country Club.   Richard and Willie were divorced, and Willie went to work for Northrup King and then for the Fresno Unified School District as the Principal’s secretary at Ewing Elementary School.  

Willie finally found her true love, and in 1974 Willie married Clarence “Linn” Linenbach.  They shared a love of golf and traveling, and after she retired in 1976, they spent a lot of time on the road in their RV, visiting golf courses around the country.   They also went on cruises and travelled abroad, visiting Germany and Hong Kong.

Willie took up sewing as a hobby and sewed clothes for her family.  I remember matching light blue velour sweaters she made for my dad and I.

She and Linn spent thirty-three happy years together, until Linn passed away in January 2007.  

Sadly, in her later years, Willie was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and was not able to remember her full life.  Those who visited her were always greeted with a smile and a "Hi honey!"  She did not always remember our names, but she did know that we were connected to each other and that she loved us and we loved her.

I am grateful for the time that I got to spend with my Gma Willie in this life and I am comforted by the knowledge that when I see her again, she will remember me, and all of us, having been made whole again through the grace of Jesus Christ.

My cousin, Kerri June Reynolds Thomas, shared memories about her "Gram":

My Aunt Lindi, Uncle Rich, and my dad, Don Marshall, all shared their memories and feelings:

Darryl Marshall shared a scripture that he read from a Bible that belonged to Willie's mother:

And then we all got to stand around and talk and laugh and remember.....and that is the part I love the best about funerals!  Family!

left to right: Ginnie Westfall (Willie's sister's, Juanita, daughter), Suzanne Mello (Ginnie's daughter), Rich Clark (Lindi's husband), Darryl Marshall (Willie's son), Don Marshall (Willie's son), Lindi Clark (Willie's daughter), Jason Hunt (Lindi's son), Kerri Thomas (Lindi's daughter), Joseph Thomas (Kerri's son), Hayli Thomas (Kerri's daughter), Cheryl Hunt (Jason's wife), Michael Thomas (Kerri's husband), Jared Hunt (Jason's son), Justin Hunt (Jason's son), Lora Nehring (Don's daughter), Jeremy Marshall (Don's son), Rebecca Nehring (Lora's daughter), Katrina Nehring (Lora's daughter), Kevin Nehring (Lora's husband), and Amanda Nehring (Lora's daughter) -- Wilburta "Willie" Linenbach's funeral - Sanger Cemetery - 17 December 2012

Cousins: Jeremy Marshall, Lora Marshall Nehring, Kerri Reynolds Thomas

Siblings: Darryl Marshall, Lindi Marshall Clark, Don Marshall

Last month I went out to the Sanger Cemetery again and was able to get a photo of the Linenbach headstone:

I think about my Gma Willie a lot.  I used to see her every Friday morning, so often, especially on Friday mornings, I think about her.

Lu Penrose Bond - 28 October 1912

Today would have been Gma Lu's 100th birthday!  What a marvelous milestone!!  Yet, she would have been unfazed.  Haha!  She was a very regal woman, and just took things as they came. I miss her.

Lu Penrose Bond - 1983

I lived with Gma for a year in 1991.  I want to quickly share the story of that came to be.  I was going through a time in my life where things were not going the way I was hoping they would.  I was kind of stuck and I wasn't sure what I should be doing.  I was living in Tucson, AZ, going to school at the University of Arizona.  I had been praying about what I needed to be doing, and one day, as I was walking to work, I was in the middle of an empty parking lot, outside an abandoned building, and I heard a voice say very clearly, "move to Fresno."  I was so startled and I looked around to see who had said it.  There was no one anywhere.  It would never have occurred to me to move to Fresno!  I thought of Fresno as, and I quote (keeping in mind that I was young and stupid), the "armpit of California."  Nevertheless, I got to work, and called Gma Lu.  I asked her if I could come to stay with her.  She said yes, and within two weeks, I had finished everything up in AZ, and moved to Fresno.  I know I was supposed to be there, with my Gma, for that period in time! 

I joked for a long time that all my friends in Fresno were little old ladies, as I took Gma to DUP, The Silver Belles get-togethers, etc..  We would sit at her dining room table and I would ask her questions, and she would tell me stories, and I wrote them down as quickly as I could.  She told me about her youth, about her parents, about her marriage.  All wonderful memories to be preserved.

I remember that she always had a "round robin" going with all of her siblings.  They would send a manilla envelope with letters and photos in it from one person to the next.  You would read everyone's things, add your own, and take out what you had put in previously, then send it on to the next person.  I thought that was so cool, and wanted to do that with everyone when we got older, but by then there was email and digital photos, etc., and it didn't seem as necessary.  Kind of a shame.

For me, it was the WAY she told stories. I have very specific phrases that come to my mind, and I hear them in my head in HER voice.  When I am having nasal issues, I hear her voice saying, "By dose is rudding a streab."  She told the story about her father who always had such amazing sandwiches in his lunches and one day (at the other man's request) traded sandwiches with a co-worker. As he bit into the peanut butter sandwich he had been given, he yelled out, "Help!  I've been poisoned!!"  I remember how she called people "ding-a-lings" when they did something she didn't like.  I loved it when she told me the story of how after she and Gpa had gotten married, he shaved his mustache.  When he came out of the bathroom, he asked, "How do I look?"  Gma said, "Clean."  He said, "Yes, but how do I look?"  She looked at him harder, trying to figure out why he kept asking, and said again, "Clean."  As she was telling me the story, Gma took her hand and waved it over her head and said, "Woosh!"  That just cracked me up!

I remember sitting watching her paint her nails.  I always thought her nails were so beautiful, always long and thin.  I remember how she always sat up straight, no matter where she was.  Even sitting on a couch.  I remember what a prolific reader she was!  Always reading something!  I remember giving her two rolls of Certs for Christmas one year, and she treated them as if I had given her something very important.  I remember the "ACK!" sound she would make when she was telling a story where she had been surprised or startled.  I remember how the air felt and smelled and I would step out of her house onto the back porch.  That is how Fresno is supposed to feel and smell.  I can't describe that any other way.  

Last year, I did a post about her birthday as well, which can be seen HERE

Gma Lu was a special lady.  An old friend of Gma's calls my oldest daughter, "Little Lu".  I am glad to have that frequent reminder in my life of how much she meant to people.

I hope that we can always continue to share these wonderful stories of our family members so they continue to live on with us!

Happy Birthday Gma Lu!!  I love you!

Direct Line Ancestry: Lu Penrose Bond --> Kathryn Bond Berkowitz --> Lora Marshall Nehring